Are guys really looking for someone to tell them all the things they have to do? I mean why can't they just be their own person? Do you guys really want someone like that? I don't know where it happened but over the years men have been made out to be totally helpless without a women, and to me that is such a put down to men.
I believe men can do something without their wife telling them. I believe that a man can have a life, can have friends, can chill out with their friends. I believe that a man can remember things if they tried to remember. I believe a man can do anything even if their wife doesn't tell them.
I believe that a man can do housework, dishes, clean, and also think for themselves. I understand that when 2 people get married that they help each other, they support each other, they talk to each other - but I don't believe that the mans mind is made up by what he wife says.
Society and other things have made the husband have their part and the wife has hers. If the husband works all day then yeah if the wife is home then she will look after the house but what if they both work? Does she still have to work and do everything too? I don't think it's right and I do think that men can help - I mean isn't that a family - everyone helping each other?
I really hope that there is someone out there that believes this because I will no way tell my husband ( if i even get married ) everything that he will do. Or where to go, or anything else like that. I mean he was his own person before he got married why isn't he after?
Just a couple thoughts - let me know what you think or if it even makes sense.
Comments (4)
i would never ever say my hubby was mindless........
I honestly don't know one wife who would say that about her hubby.When Howie and I both worked out of the home, we shared the responsibilities around the house.. Even with me now being home all the time, Howie still helps out..The man is supposed to be the head of the house spiritually, but I think the woman's job in the marriage (IF she is a stay at home) is to run the house, and maybe that does include the hubby.I agree that some men get married to find a replacement for their moms.. someone to tell them what to do all the time, cook for them, clean up after them and all that... I know guys who are looking for that.. but as for mindless?? I think women today are looking for a husband, a partner, an equal.. not a child.Then again.. some women have such strong personalities it is easier for the men to act mindless then fight them.Wives want to be loved, appreciated, and they want someone to nurture... maybe that why hubbys become lazy and let their wives take on a more mom role then a wife role.maybei dont knowDave doesn't do any housework these days, but I don't blame him. He works long and hard and I couldn't imagine expecting anything of him at home, even though it would be nice since I'm often busy from when I get up until when I go to sleep. Dave often gets up and makes me breakfast on Saturdays and I really appreciate it. And he's really good at big one-time projects and building stuff. When we were first married he did the cooking and I did the cleaning, although I did about 5x the work he did. At least he did something, he's not so good at cleaning anyway, he gets distracted a lot and forgets to finish things which drives me nuts. But he's a good cook. He also did the dishes for me when I was pregnant and the feeling of a wet dish cloth made me puke.
But I definitely have never told him what to do! Dave wouldn't take that well. And I'm not like that anyway. We work everything out together and try to always talk about our feelings so there's never any resentment going on. Like sometimes I have a hard time when he comes home from work and watches tv or goes online while I am running around like crazy doing housework, making supper and taking care of the kids. Gideon will be sitting near him screaming and he won't even pick him up, and he won't do diapers or anything. Being a mom is hard because you never get to "go home" from work. But at the same time I'd never be able to be a roofer, Dave works HARD and deserves to come home and rest. It's good to talk about it together though, to get your feelings out so they don't eat away at you.
All of our decisions are made together. Or we at least make guidelines together (ie how much I can spend on food and clothing for us, how much he can spend on beer and fast food, how much Starbucks we can have a month, etc). Bigger purchases and anything to do with parenting, finances, outings, etc are discussed. Although I usually respect his decisions overall if we don't completely agree, which is rare. It helps that we like to talk a lot and we aren't afraid to share our thoughts and opinions on everything. Dave and I are definitely still separate people with our own thoughts, ideas, and desires, although we don't live separate lives, if that makes sense. We don't want to, that's why we got married. We do things separately often, but the other always knows and accepts what we do. No one dictates what the other does. Dave is the "leader" of our family, but he takes everyone else's thoughts and feelings seriously and into account when he makes final decisions.
I don't think Dave would be helpless without me, he'd just have a really messy house and never know where his wallet is, lol. He definitely does have a hard time remembering things (Anne knows what I'm talking about), but that's just because his brain is always going a thousand miles per second... And I wouldn't be helpless without him, although my confidence has skyrocketed since meeting him.
Chuck Missler has and awesome spin on Ephesians chapter 5. If only I could find it... It's about his wife Nancy. If I come across it again i will send you the link.
I wait I think it might be here:
http://www.khouse.org/6640/BP021/